Some Golfers are Jerks

My golfing career began in the summer of 1988.  I’ve played with professional golfers, amateur golfers, mediocre golfers, and downright horrible golfers.  I’ve witnessed a lot of crazy things on the golf course and I’ve learned several important lessons about golfers in general.  1) Golfers take themselves way too seriously. 2) The majority of the weekend warrior golfers suck at golf. 3) Golfers cheat all the time. 4) Golfers make up their own set of rules as they play. 5) Some golfers are just jerks.

In June 2001, my wife and I built a house on the Monroe Golf & Country Club and this where our run-in with golfers began.  We live on the #10 fairway and our house lies in the landing zone.  We have tons of golf balls that land in our yard.  Just after the house was built, we had freshly laid, fescue sod that looked plush.  After a nice rainstorm, several golfers decided to drive their golf carts right into our yard and of course it trenched a lot of the sod.  My wife chased one golfer out of our yard after he decided to take his second shot about 10 feet into our yard.  He left us a nice divot of freshly laid sod.

In the mid 1990’s, I was playing in a golf tournament with my dad and several of his friends.  The tournament pace was very slow and we were waiting in the fairway for the group ahead of us to finish their putt on the green so we could take our second shot.  The group behind us decided to go ahead and hit off of the tee box and rolled a golf ball right behind us.  We ignored it thinking it was just an honest mistake.  A few holes later, the group behind us did the same thing again and this time the ball came even closer to our group.  My dad picked up the golf ball and threw it into the lake.  Thinking this was the end of our ordeal, I did not pay much attention until the group behind us did it a third time and the golf ball hit well beyond us.  It could have easily hit us.  This time, my dad retrieves the golf ball, cranks up the golf cart, and heads toward the group behind us.  I’m thinking, uh oh, here we go.  He stops within 50 yards of the group behind us, jumps out of the cart, and throws the golf ball right at the group as they are standing on the tee box trying to apologize.  The group scatters like a bunch roaches when the light switched is turned on.  The group yells a few obscenities at my dad, and he hollers back, “Now you know what it feels like to have a golf ball coming toward you.”

Weekend Warrior Golfer

This last story happened on Thursday and it’s the reason for this blog.  To make a long story short, my next door neighbor has two boys ages, 5 and 6.  Our neighbor up the street has a granddaughter of similar age.  Around 6:30 in the evening, my neighbor allows the kids to go into the #10 fairway and hit a few golf balls around.  Typically, most golfers are done by this time of the evening, especially on a week night.  About 15 minutes later, my neighbor notices a golf cart barreling down the fairway towards his house.  The golfer jumps out and yells, “Hey man, will you get those kids out of the fairway so we can play?” My neighbor obliges and is moving the kids towards the house but is still in the fairway when he feels and hears a golf ball go whizzing by his ear.  When the golfer that hit the ball comes driving by, my neighbor hollers, “If that golf ball would’ve hit one of my kids, you would be laying in that fairway.”  The golfer bows up and says, “I told you to get your f***ing kids out of the fairway.  The golfer says this in earshot of the kids.  After several more words are exchanged, the golfers give up and head towards the clubhouse.  A few minutes later the club pro drives down the fairway in an attempt to figure out what happened.  The golf pro tells my neighbor, “I know those guys, they are good guys.”  My neighbor responds, “I don’t care what you say. Those are not good guys.  Any guy that would hit a golf ball into 3 young kids is not a good guy.”  Amen brother.